Revenge
by CanisMajor13
Summary: I have to be sane. I need revenge. Just a one-shot about Sirius' thoughts on the night Lily and James died. My first fan fic. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. It all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling. I am just using her world to have some fun.

This is my first fan fiction so just read it and feel free to drop a review. :)

Sirius has always been my favourite maruader so here it is.

* * *

I sit here in this prison cell. The whole place reeks of despair but I am fucking _fine_ because I know that I _will _get Peter back. I have to. It is the only thing stopping me from drowning in a pool of misery just like everyone else in this place does.

I can still remember exactly how my last night before I came here, Azkaban, went.

_Go to Lily and James' house at 7:00 pm._

I had it written down and everything because I'm forgetful and if I wasn't there on time they'd get worried. People used to scare very easily back then. I wonder how much things have changed.

I rode my motorcycle there, Merlin how I miss that thing, and _nothing_ could have prepared me for what I found. Their house was a ruin and _fuck _that was Harry's room that had been blown to pieces. I was confused because where was the dark mark? Maybe it wasn't _him, _maybe they're safe and my life hasn't completely gone to the _shits_. That is what went through my mind. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous to _hope_ but I _had _to.

I walked into the house and there in front of the stairs was James, my _best _mate James. His glasses were smashed and his hair was as messy as ever but somehow it missed something. Life. I felt _sick and crushed and how the fuck did this happen?_

Right then is when it hit me. Peter. _Fucking Peter._

At that moment I was _furious. _I went with that because Merlin knows I couldn't even _think_ about how I would have felt if I wasn't.

I ran back outside and Hagrid was standing there. He looked at me with such _pity _and _sympathy _as he bawled his own eyes out and I felt like _screaming _because I hate sympathy. Sympathy implies there is something wrong with my life or who I am. I don't need other people to point that out.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry" He kind of wailed it in that voice that is just _so _Hagrid. I _really_ didn't want him to be "sorry" although I think that part of me deep down loved the fact that he cared enough to say it. "Dumbledore sent me ter' get 'arry" _What? Harry? Isn't he dead?_

"Harry?" I choked out and my voice _cracked_. Fury, focus on the fury.

"He's still alive. Dunno how or why but it's just t-t-tragic isn't it?" _Alive? _Hope. That's what I felt because at least I had _something. _

"Where is he? I'll take him." Harry was the only thing that could have stopped me from chasing Peter then. I wasn't sure about looking at him and having to see James' messy hair or Lily's eyes. I might have broken down if I had of seen him right then.

"No, Dumbledore sent me ter' get 'im. Gotta do what Dumbledore says." Dumbledore. Shit. Dumbledore thought _I_ was the secret keeper. That is when I decided that I may as well give them a reason to send me to Azkaban. Peter.

"Take my cycle Hagrid. I have to go." I ran. _Where would he be? _ That's when I remembered that stupid muggle pub he's always going to. Every night the rat drinks away there.

I apparated and with a stroke of luck he was leaving just as I got there.

"Hello Wormtail" I've been told that sometimes, like when I'm bullying Snivellus, I have a smirk that just looks _evil _and screams _you're in for it now. _I really hope that at that moment that smirk managed to pull through. I hope that I managed to pull it out in between all of the misery and anger. I think it worked relatively well because he froze. A look of complete horror on his face and for just a moment I though _this is it, I am going to get him. _ Just for a moment though because a second later, _he _smirked, _my _smirk.

"Sirius, how could you do this?!" In that moment I was _so fucking angry._ He was trying to pin this on _me. _I pulled out my wand and tried to stun him but I missed. I was the fucking duelling champion in seventh year and I _missed. _

He pulled out his wand after that and that familiar exhilaration of battle filled me up. This would be better than duelling Voldemort himself. Soon enough though exhilaration was turned to confusion. _Is he pointing his wand at his own hand? _It didn't make any sense. He had just severed his own pinky off and yet he was _still _smirking. And why the fuck is he pointing his wand in the middle of the street? I always knew he was daft.

Apparently though, old Petey wasn't so daft. He just _blew up_ the whole street. He _killed _all those innocent muggles. I felt sick.

Then he transformed into his animagus form of a rat and I realised that in all my confusion the little rat had gotten away. _He got away. _

The misery was coming back in full force and I _needed _to do something to keep it at bay. I laughed.

I laughed because I had no idea what else to do and because _when the fuck did st-st-stuttering Wormtail get so smart and evil? _

The next couple hours were a mixture of the Aurors coming and being sent to this prison, in the literal sense.

So now I am here and like I said I am _fucking fine _because I have to be. I have always been good at not thinking about things that hurt and Merlin if I ever think about them being gone it _hurts. _

I hold onto the anger and the overwhelming _need_ for revenge because it keeps the Dementors at bay and keeps me sane.

I have to be sane. I need revenge.


End file.
